Almost Too Deep for Words

An ache from deep within,
A heart that is raw and wicked.
The realization rocks me to the core-
I am reaping what I have sown.
This life of selfishness and pride
Has resulted in pain and loneliness.
All the hurts I have done are cascading back on me.
I deserve this.

I confess my wicked heart and bitter envy.
I confess my tendency to leave.
I confess my hurtful actions.
My life is a mess.

But You say that there is no condemnation,
You say that You will never forsake me,
You say that You love me!
This I do not deserve!
You extend mercy to a wretched sinner,
Grace to a rebellious heart.
You are good beyond measure.
I cannot understand.
What would make You pay the price
For someone like me?
Faithless, unfaithful, struggling, rebellious, stubborn.
How can You love me???

But You do.
It is amazing and life changing.
My guilt is gone. I don’t understand.
God change my heart. Breathe Your life into me.
Strengthen me to withstand the circumcision of my heart,
when You transform me to the image of Christ.
Love me through the pain.
Show me the end result. Your glory! My transformation.
To look more like Jesus. It is painful.

But worth it.